Letter #1: Autism - Easy prey for the rest of humanity

Maybe you’ve heard of something called autism. Maybe you think you or someone you know is autistic. Or maybe this is the first time you’ve heard about it.

I’m going to try to explain what autism is, mainly from my own experience in the form of a series of open letters to my younger self.

Younger me, I promise both you and myself one thing: I won’t hide things or lie to you in these letters.

No matter how painful it is for you to read this. No matter how painful it is for me to write this.

Let me start with this: As of today, at 28 years old, I’m glad you’re still alive. As of today, at 28 years old, there are other people who are glad you’re alive.

Contrary to what many have told you and will tell you throughout your life: The people close to you are not better off without you alive.

Contrary to what many have told you and will tell you throughout your life: You are not better off dead.

Good job not following those people’s advice on this matter.

Social interaction is a common evolutionary trait in nature.

Bees have a well-defined caste system, division of labor, a communication system, and cooperative behaviors, among other things.

These social traits allow the colony to:

• Efficiently allocate resources among its members
• Specialize its members by function
• Develop cooperative defense mechanisms that protect them from predators and competitors

On the other hand, African elephants developed social systems around life experience and bonding methods with herds formed around the oldest female who leads her family.

These social traits allow the herd to:

• Have certain interactions that deepen family bonds
• Form groups that care for other family members
• Have a key figure capable of making decisions for the family
• Be able to cooperate in protecting the family

Social interaction is a means for the survival of the species. And humanity is at the pinnacle of social evolution.

Through evolution and adaptation, humans took and evolved these traits to the next level:

Humanity evolved to:

• Form groups of different sizes (families, clans, countries...)
• Specialize for the benefit of the group
• Create caste systems with different degrees of authority within these groups
• Form alliances between groups
• Communicate ideas using an incredibly complex system of sounds, signs, expressions, movements, etc.
• Have empathy, which allows a sense of unity and nonverbal communication
• Create, share, and perpetuate systems of beliefs, morals, intentions, perspectives, culture, knowledge, traditions, and more
• Apply these systems as norms and exclude members who pose a threat to those systems

Social interaction is a means for the survival of the species. And humanity is at the pinnacle of social evolution.

With these evolutionary traits, humanity:

• Became the predator of all other species on the planet
• Developed languages and cultures
• Created massive economies and social systems
• Embarked on massive collective and generational efforts like industrialization and science

Humans are, without a doubt, the alpha predator on earth. That is, as long as you’re not autistic... And you, my younger self, are autistic.

At this point you may be wondering, what is this autism thing you’re talking about?

Autism Spectrum Disorder ASD, Asperger’s syndrome, or simply autism for short, is a collection of traits that affect 1~2% of the human population (including you).

Some of the main autistic traits are:

1. Deficits in social communication:
   1. Difficulty with interpreting and executing verbal communication
   2. Difficulty with interpreting and executing nonverbal communication
   3. Difficulty recognizing facial features in other humans
   4. Difficulty developing and maintaining relationships
2. Deficits in social interaction:
   1. Difficulty understanding social norms and signals
   2. Problems with reciprocal social interactions (family, friends, peers)
   3. Preference for solitary activities
3. Repetitive behaviors and restricted interests:
   1. (Abnormal) participation in repetitive movements or speech patterns
   2. Strong resistance or aversion to change
   3. Intense focus on specific interests or topics, often excluding others
   4. Detail-oriented thinking. Focuses too much on details to see the big picture
4. Sensory sensitivities:
   1. Increased sensory input like hypersensitivity to noise, light, textures, some types of pain, etc. Sometimes to the point of being unable to cope with these sensations
   2. Decreased sensory input like lack of sensitivity to certain sensations like hunger, some types of pain, etc.
   3. Unusual sensory seeking. (You, my friend, spent too much time watching clothes spin in the washing machine.)
5. Executive functioning problems:
   1. Difficulties with organization, planning, or problem-solving
   2. Difficulty transitioning between activities
   3. Impaired impulse control
   4. Impaired emotional regulation
6. Many more impairments that aren’t so great...

Every autistic person has their own constellation of autistic traits. Each one in greater or lesser intensity.

These traits don’t arise from a condition that can be acquired, but are part of the person’s neurological configuration.

You were born autistic, and you will die autistic.

Of course, this won’t have a negative connotation for you. After all, you don’t know what it’s like to be neurotypical. For you, living with autism is simply living.

Autistic people can benefit from early diagnosis. The autistic child can receive support from professionals to help develop adaptation and coping mechanisms. This, in turn, helps the child integrate and navigate a world of social creatures.

The child also benefits from understanding their condition, as at least they have an explanation for the differences between them and apparently everyone else.

Unfortunately, like many other undiagnosed autistic people, you discovered this for yourself around age 16. 12 years too late.

Social interaction is a means for the survival of the species. A means of survival you don’t have:

• Humans form groups, you struggle enormously with that. In fact, it will take you 17 years to do it barely acceptably.
• Humans can use complex forms of communication, you can only do it in a limited way. And you’ll constantly fail at this.
• Humans lie and have ways to identify lies. You don’t even understand why someone would lie.
• Humans can use nonverbal communication, you can’t.
• Humans have very complex social rules with infinite variations, you’ll never fully understand them, much less be able to fit in with most.
• Humans can distinguish different levels of trust depending on who they interact with, you can’t.
• Humans can manipulate. You, who can’t discern when someone is lying, are the easiest to manipulate.
• Humans can adapt in new social situations, you can’t.
• Humans have innate ways of sharing feelings and emotions. You don’t.
• Humans have affective and cognitive empathy. You lack affective empathy. And you overcompensate with cognitive empathy, more than is healthy.

Social interaction is a means for the survival of the species. And humanity is at the pinnacle of social evolution. But you, my young autistic self, are nothing more than easy prey for them.

I know this sounds really bad.

It is.

But there are ways to overcome this. You overcame this.

You, as of today at 28 years old, are still alive.

You, as of today at 28 years old, are glad to be alive.

Let that be your hope for yourself.